For football fans and geeks, this romp through the "ologies" is a superb spoof in which humans evolved their biologically absurd two-legged stance to play football - domed head and flat face for subtle power heading, and flat levered feet with non-opposable big toes for shooting.

Welcome to Football Fans and Football Geeks || Football Anatomy and the Coefficient of Reciprocal and Non-Reciprocal Passing Altruism || Gordon P. McNeil's Craniometrics: Football Phrenology || Transliminality and Super-Lucid Football Neoteny Dreams || Football Heroes: Coal Miners of West Auckland and Hearts of Midlothian || The Hunt for the Mession: Football and Yatagarasuism || Moai and the Easter Island Heads of Heading || The Neurology of Football Hymning: The Consciousness of the Football || Shamans, Opposable Thumbs and Goalkeepers || The Football Hormones of Negative Entropy, and Time Dilation || Absurdity and the Theory of Football Relativity || The Anthropology of Gambling || Ancient Football in the Forth Valley: Stonehousemuir || Bipedal Football and its Opposable-Thumb Offshoots: Facilatylcholine || Artificial Intelligence and World Cup 2050: Robo passiens 3 - Homo passiens 2 || Fitba' Petrospheres in Football Festival Square || Football Infanity: Fannabinoid Signalling and the Hot Sauce Paradigm ||

"Wow! What an extraordinary production!" Professor David Spieglehalter "Hilarious" Editor of Howler Magazine "Totally brilliant!" Robert Sapolsky, author of "Junk Food Monkeys "Very clever and very funny!" Tony Collins, Sports History and Culture, De Montfort University "Fantastic! I think I may have trouble NOT taking this seriously!" Professor David Kilpatrick, historian, Mercy College NY ,