&> How to Get What You Want... Introduction     1 PART 1: Be the Kind of Person Who Gets What They Want     4 Know What You Want     6 Know Why You Want It     8 Know How Much You Want It     10 Want What You Get     12 Don’t Be a Fuzzy Thinker     14 Know What It Takes     16 Work Out Who You Need on Your Side     18 Break Big Ambitions into Chunks     20 Set Up Some Milestones     22 Celebrate Every Step     24 Write It All Down     26 Analyze Your Sticking Points     28 Set Your Deadlines     30 Check Out the Back Door     32 Don’t Make Excuses     34 Think Positive     36 Don’t Hang Out with Naysayers     38 Say It Out Loud     40 Believe in Yourself     42 Expect Ups and Downs     44 Enjoy It When You Get It     46 PART 2: Be the Kind of Person People Want to Say Yes To     48 Don’t Fake It—Have Real Confidence     50 Sound Confident     52 Look Confident     54 Learn to Say No     56 Give Them an Alternative     58 Be a Broken Record     60 Be Sure You’re Sorry     62 Say What You Mean     64 Think Before You Speak     66 Be Prepared to Disagree     68 Control Yourself     70 Express Yourself     72 Don’t Use Emotional Blackmail…     74 …and Don’t Give In to It     76 Treat People with Respect     78 Have Plenty of Time     80 Be Likeable     82 Have a Sense of Humor     84 Be Honest     86 Always Say Thank You     88 Don’t Do Too Much     90 Give a Bit Extra     92 Be Generous     94 Praise but Don’t Flatter     96 Be Loyal     98 Don’t Talk Behind People’s Backs     100 Learn to Take Criticism Well     102 Admit Your Mistakes     104 Get to Know People     106 Learn to Listen Properly     108 Know What You’ve Agreed To     110 Pick Up the Signals     112 Sympathize with Other People’s Anger     114 Don’t Respond to Tactical Anger     116 Give Other People Results     118 Be Part of Your Organization     120 Work Hard     122 Work Right     124 Be Worth It     126 PART 3: Help Them to Say Yes     128 Make Sure You’re Getting Through to Them     130 And Make Sure They’re Getting Through to You     132 Think About Why They’d Say No     134 Show You Understand     136 Be Objective     138 Give Them an Excuse to Make an Exception     140 Solve Their Problems     142 Read the Clues     144 Learn What Gets Them Going     146 Use the Right Words     148 Get the Timing Right     150 Tell Them What You Want Without Asking     152 Don’t Keep Dropping Hints     154 Make It Hypothetical     156 Ask Questions     158 Ask for Advice Instead of a Job     160 Get Someone to Do the Asking for You     162 Tell Them You Need Them     164 Don’t Rush Them     166 Give Them What They Want     168 Make Them Think It Was Their Idea     170 Discourage Their Bad Ideas     172 Find Out What It Will Take     174 Get a Team Behind You     176 PART 4: And If You Really Do Have to Ask…     178 Be Clear What You’re Asking     180 Pick Your Moment     182 Make a Date     184 Know When to Put It Off     186 Keep to the Script     188 Rehearse It     190 Rehearse Their Answer     192 Don’t Go On About It     194 Get the Essentials on Paper     196 Have a Bottom Line     198 Ask for More Than You Want     200 Don’t Make Empty Threats     202 Think About It     204 Put the Decision in Writing     206 Be Ready to Be Decisive     208 Don’t Give Up     210   How to Argue: Powerfully, Persuasively, Positively   Introduction     v Part 1: The ten golden rules of argument Chapter 1  Golden Rule 1: Be prepared     3 Chapter 2  Golden Rule 2: When to argue, when to walk away     15 Chapter 3  Golden Rule 3: What you say and how you say it     25 Chapter 4  Golden Rule 4: Listen and listen again     41 Chapter 5  Golden Rule 5: Excel at responding to arguments     53 Chapter 6  Golden Rule 6: Watch out for crafty tricks     65 Chapter 7  Golden Rule 7: Develop the skills for arguing in public     89 Chapter 8  Golden Rule 8: Be able to argue in writing     95 Chapter 9  Golden Rule 9: Be great at resolving deadlock     103 Chapter 10  Golden Rule 10: Maintain relationships     111 Part 2: Situations where arguments commonly arise Chapter 11  How to argue with those you love     121 Chapter 12  How to argue with your children     131 Chapter 13  Arguments at work     145 Chapter 14  How to complain     153 Chapter 15  How to get what you want from an expert     165 Chapter 16  Arguing when you know you’re in the wrong     175 Chapter 17  Arguing again and again     183 Chapter 18  Doormats     195 Chapter 19  How to be a good winner     205 Chapter 20  To recap     211 Index     215