The Rules of Life   Introduction     viii Part I Rules for You     1 1  Keep It Under Your Hat     4 2  You’ll Get Older But Not Necessarily Wiser     6 3  Accept What Is Done Is Done     8 4  Accept Yourself     10 5  Know What Counts and What Doesn’t     12 6  Dedicate Your Life to Something     14 7  Be Flexible in Your Thinking     16 8  Take an Interest in the Outside World     18 9  Be on the Side of the Angels, Not the Beasts     20 10  Only Dead Fish Swim with the Stream     22 11  Be the Last to Raise Your Voice     24 12  Be Your Own Adviser     26 13  No Fear, No Surprise, No Hesitation, No Doubt     28 14  I Wish I’d Done That--and I Will     30 15  It’s OK to Give Up     32 16  Count to Ten--or Recite “Baa Baa Black Sheep”     34 17  Change What You Can Change; Let Go of the Rest     36 18  Aim to Be the Very Best at Everything You Do--Not Second Best     38 19  Don’t Expect to Be Perfect     40 20  Don’t Be Afraid to Dream     42 21  If You’re Going to Jump Off a Bridge, Make Sure You Know How Deep the Water Is     44 22  Don’t Dwell on the Past     46 23  Don’t Live in the Future     48 24  Get on With Life--It’s Whooshing Past     50 25  Be Consistent     52 26  Dress Like Today Is Important     54 27  Have a Belief System     56 28  Leave a Little Space for Yourself Each Day     58 29  Have a Plan     60 30  Have a Sense of Humor     62 31  Choose How You Make Your Bed     64 32  Life Can Be a Bit Like Advertising     66 33  Get Used to Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone     68 34  Learn to Ask Questions     70 35  Have Dignity     72 36  It’s OK to Feel Big Emotions     74 37  Keep the Faith     76 38  You’ll Never Understand Everything     78 39  Know Where True Happiness Comes From     80 40  Life Is a Pizza     82 41  Know When to Let Go--When to Walk Away     84 42  Retaliation Leads to Escalation     86 43  Look After Yourself     88 44  Maintain Good Manners in All Things     90 45  Prune Your Stuff Frequently     92 46  Remember to Touch Base     94 47  Draw the Lines Around Yourself     96 48  Shop for Quality, Not Price     98 49  It’s OK to Worry, or to Know How Not To     100 50  Stay Young     102 51  Throwing Money at a Problem Doesn’t Always Work     104 52  Think for Yourself     106 53  You Are Not in Charge     108 54  Have Something in Your Life That Takes You Out of Yourself     110 55  Only the Good Feel Guilty     112 56  If You Can’t Say Anything Nice, Don’t Say Anything at All     114   Part II Partnership Rules     117 57  Accept the Differences, Embrace What You Have in Common     120 58  Allow Your Partner the Space to Be Themselves     122 59  Be Nice     124 60  You Want to Do What?     126 61  Be the First to Say Sorry     128 62  Go That Extra Step in Trying to Please Them     130 63  Always Have Someone--or Something--That Is Pleased to See You     132 64  Know When to Listen and When to Act     134 65  Have a Passion for Your Life Together     136 66  Make Sure Your Love Making Is Making Love     138 67  Keep Talking     140 68  Respect Privacy     142 69  Check You Both Have the Same Shared Goals     144 70  Treat Your Partner Better Than Your Best Friend     146 71  Contentment Is a High Aim     148 72  You Don’t Both Have to Have the Same Rules     150   Part III Family and Friends Rules     153 73  If You Are Going to Be a Friend, Be a Good Friend     156 74  Never Be Too Busy for Loved Ones     158 75  Let Your Kids Mess Up for Themselves--They Don’t Need Any Help from You     160 76  Have a Little Respect and Forgiveness for Your Parents     162 77  Give Your Kids a Break     164 78  Never Lend Money Unless You Are Prepared to Write It Off     166 79  Keep Quiet     168 80  There Are No Bad Children     170 81  Be Up Around People You Love     172 82  Give Your Kids Responsibilities     174 83  Your Children Need to Fall Out with You to Leave Home     176 84  Your Kids Will Have Friends You Don’t Like     178 85  Your Role as a Child     180 86  Your Role as a Parent     182   Part IV Social Rules     185 87  We’re All Closer Than You Think     188 88  It Doesn’t Hurt to Forgive     190 89  It Doesn’t Hurt to Be Helpful     192 90  What’s in It for Them?     194 91  Hang Out with Positive People     196 92  Be Generous with Your Time and Information     198 93  Get Involved     200 94  Keep the Moral High Ground     202 95  Just Because You Have, Doesn't Mean They Have Too     204 96  Do Compare Yourself with Other People     206 97  Have a Plan for Your Career     208 98  Look at the Long-Term Ramifications of What You Do for a Living     210 99  Be Good at Your Job     212 100  Be Aware of the Damage You Are Doing     214 101  Be for the Glory, Not the Degradation     216 102  Be Part of the Solution, Not the Problem     218 103  Check What History Would Say About You     220 104  Not Everything Can Be Green     222 105  Put Something Back     224 106  Find a New Rule Every Day--or Occasionally at Least     226     The Rules of Love   Introduction     xi Part I Rules for Finding Love     2 1 Be Yourself     4 2 Get Over It Before You Get On With It     6 3 You Won’t Be Happy With a Partner Until You Can Be Happy on Your Own     8 4 You’ll Know Them When You Meet Them     10 5 Choose Someone Who Makes You Laugh     12 6 Being Less Than a Hundred Percent Attractive Is a Great Filter     14 7 Don’t Keep Making the Same Mistakes     16 8 Certain People Are Off Limits (You Know Who They Are)     18 9 You Can’t Change People     20 10 Relationships Aren’t About Sex     22 11 Get to Know Someone Through All the Seasons Before Making Any Major Decisions     24 12 Don’t Stay With Someone Who Doesn’t Care     26 13 If You Can’t Trust Them, You Haven’t Got a Relationship     28 14 Be Honest (While You Still Have the Chance)     30 15 Don’t Play Games     32 16 Don’t Paint New Partners with Old Brushes     34 17 Check You Both Have the Same Shared Goals     36 18 You Can’t Make Someone Love You     38 19 Be Cruel to Be Kind     40 Part II Relationship Rules     42 20 Be Nice     44 21 Be Together Because You Want to, Not Because You Need to     46 22 Allow Your Partner the Space to Be Themselves     48 23 Look to Your Own Faults     50 24 Be Honorable     52 25 Put Each Other First     54 26 Recognize the Signs     56 27 Be a Hero–Or a Heroine     58 28 Accept the Differences, Embrace What You Have in Common     60 29 Don’t Belittle Your Partner     62 30 You Want to Do What?     64 31 Let Not the Sun Go Down Upon Your Wrath     66 32 Be the First to Say Sorry     68 33 Let Them Have the Last Word     70 34 Houston, We Have a Problem     72 35 Don’t Put Them on a Pedestal and Expect Them to Stay There      74 36 Know When to Listen and When to Act     76 37 Never Stop Trying to be Attractive      78 38 If You Can Say Something Nice, Do     80 39 Don’t Try to Be Their Parent     82 40 Be Part of Their Life     84 41 If Little Things Annoy You, Say So–With Humor     86 42 Go That Extra Step in Trying to Please Them     88 43 Make Sure Your Partner Is Always Pleased to See You     90 44 Don’t Dump Responsibility on Your Partner     92 45 Let Them Know If You Don’t Like Their Friends     94 46 Jealousy Is Your Stuff, Not Theirs      96 47 Your Partner Is More Important Than Your Kids      98 48 Make Time for Romance     100 49 Have a Passion for Your Life Together      102 50 Share the Workload     104 51 Trust the Other One to Do the Job     106 52 Don’t Be a Nag     108 53 Make Sure Your Love Making Is Making Love      110 54 Don’t Control Them      112 55 Listen to What They’re Not Saying     114 56 Most Everyday Arguments Are About Something Else     116 57 Respect Privacy     118 58 Treat Your Partner Better Than Your Best Friend     120 59 Don’t Be Offended If They Want Some Space     122 60 Men Like Flowers Too     124 61 Keep Your Finances Separate     126 62 Contentment Is a High Aim     128 63 Be Generous to Each Other Financially      130 64 You Make a Choice Every Day     132 65 Don’t Be a Martyr     134 66 Stop Sniping–Someone Has To     136 67 You Don’t Both Have to Have the Same Rules     138 68 Do It Their Way If It Matters More to Them     140 69 Put Yourself in Their Shoes     142 70 In-laws Are Part of the Package     144 71 Keep Talking     146 Part III Rules for Parting     148 72 Listen to Your Own Internal Voice     150 73 Recognize That It Takes Two     152 74 Keep the Moral High Ground     154 75 Don’t Keep Mulling It Over     156 76 Leave the Kids Out of It     158 Part IV Family Rules     160 77 Don’t Blame Your Parents      162 78 Don’t Let Your Parents Control Your Feelings     164 79 Your Children Come Before You     166 80 Nothing Is Worth Falling Out Over     168 81 Treat Them Right, No Matter How They Treat You     170 82 There Are No Circumstances in Which It Is Ever Acceptable to Say “I Told You So”     172 83 Don’t Pressure Your Family Just Because You Can     174 84 Never Be Too Busy for Loved Ones     176 85 Your Children Need to Fall Out with You to Leave Home     178 86 They Don’t Have to Be the Same as You     180 87 There’s Always Stuff with Siblings     182 88 Let Go of Your Role     184 Part V Friendship Rules     186 89 There Are No Rules     188 90 Your Best Friend Was Once a Stranger     190 91 Only Have People in Your Life Who, on Balance,  Make It Better Not Worse     192 92 If You’re Going to Be a Friend, Be a Good Friend     194 93 Forgive     196 94 Never Give Advice*     198 95 Don’t Make Other People Uncomfortable     200 96 Find Friends Who Love the Truth     202 97 Never Lend Money Unless You’re Prepared to Write It Off     204 98 If You Don’t Like Their Partner, Tough     206 99 When One Finger Points Forward, Three Point Back     208 100 Friendships Change     210 101 Know When to Let Go     212 102 Bitterness Helps No One     214 Part VI Rules for Everyone     216 103 People Are More Important Than Things     218 104 Guilt Is a Selfish Emotion     220 105 Love Equals Time     222 106 The More You Put Out, The More You Get Back     224 107 Other People Are Where It’s At     226 Had Enough Yet…?     228 You’ll Get Older But Not Necessarily Wiser     230 Get Your Work Noticed     232 Anybody Can Be Wealthy–You Just Need to Apply Yourself     234 Get Them Emotionally Involved     236 Relax     238