Women who struggle with anxiety and depression during and after pregnancy will feel reassured and no longer alone because of mommy-blogger Starr’s brutally honest account of her own mental health battle. She seemed to live a storybook life with loving husband Kenny and daughter Annabelle. But while pregnant with her son, she started down a dark path, and after he was born, negative thoughts wove their way through her brain 'like poison.' She ended up in treatment for anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, and an unspecified feeding disorder that left her clinically malnourished. She tried to hide the cuts she inflicted on her arms. She was a suicide risk. 'Do you know what is worse than feeling deep depression?' she writes. 'Feeling deep depression when the world tells you that you are supposed to be happier than ever.' Starr includes insights from Dr. Amy Wenzel, editor of The Oxford Handbook of Perinatal Psychology (2016), and identity-concealed patient studies. As Starr passionately argues, mental health for moms matters. The less anxious and distressed a pregnant woman and new mother is, the better for everyone.

Booklist, Starred Review

Emotional and candid, this personal pregnancy story delves into Starr’s battle with anxiety and depression during and after pregnancy. Interwoven throughout are the clinical insights of Amy Wenzel, a psychologist specializing in perinatal care, who goes beyond the much-discussed topic of postpartum mood disorders to discuss how prenatal anxiety and depression—two lesser-known conditions— can afflict women. In poignant prose, Starr discusses how her behaviors and thoughts shifted from her first pregnancy to her second. She invites the reader in to experience her descent into prenatal anxiety, rife with unreasonable fears and depressive lows: ‘As my baby grew, and his delivery grew closer, things got worse. My numbness spread. My husband and I drifted.’ Starr’s open-mic approach also provides generous space for five other women to share their experiences. Erica, a postpartum sufferer, recalls, ‘I drove over the bridge between my home and my job and pictured myself driving off the edge into the river below.’ The contributors offer reassuring advice, such as ‘Don’t feel guilty for having thoughts that carousel through your brain that have no business being there.’ This work promises to be a valuable refuge for expectant mothers and their families confronting the specter of prenatal and postpartum depression.

Publishers Weekly

This highly readable and compelling book tells the poignant story about the struggles and triumphs of the author's journey from severe perinatal and postpartum anxiety and depression to health. Along the way it offers sound advice for dealing with this treatable condition and includes the stories of other peri- and postpartum mothers as well.

- Judith S. Beck, Beck Institute for Cognitive Behavior Therapy,